a series of 40 cardiac stitches

It’s been so long since we last talked. Since that last time. My big eyes locked itself inside that pretty smile. :)

Yes. I admit it. I fell inlove with that smile ever since I saw it. Then it grew deeper. My dreams are filled. the skies turned blue. Echoes everywhere. Everything was set on it’s place.

You’re not just a beautiful. You’re a perfect replica of an angel. Heaven-sent. My little sister. My friend.

I’m missing you so bad. :( It kills me. I can’t stay. I shiver.

Only you can change it. I’ll say it. Sorry. Tell me. How can I make this right? :(

My age doesn’t matter to me anymore. I dont care about anything. The sunday. The presents. The greetings. What matters most is you. Forgiveness. That’s all I want.

I don’t know how. It feels so cold. Just tell me. I’ll do it.

I love  you. Just don’t go. I’m afraid. I can’t. I’ll die.

Let’s talk. Again. Just like before.

I’m sorry. I love you.  X.

Could it be a little bit longer? that whenever i see your smile, it pierces me in the heart, like the wild fires of march, like the drought of the summer, that I wanted to see you forever, holding the blinks forever, fastening my eyes into your overflowing passive picturesque…

Heaven might have seen it blurred, i might have thought it wasn’t you, but it was really you, it is you, my dust and my dawn, the coal of the fire, the sun and the moon, the hot and the cold exquisite space entangling inside, that squeezes my bones, sending a cool breeze that tightens my breath, lightens my gravity and returns the calmness of the day…

Everything goes into a proportionate and flawless harmony, a massive change, resonant memories that covers the doomed soul, embraces the unreadable words that i have written with rage, unfreezing the ego that lives behind the bars, a complete supplement flowing in the blood, the most wanted series of stitches that i have long been wanting, you and your well-formed soul, my treasure, my wings, my life, my soul, my love…

Still, it’s her voice that makes me shiver. A long narrative story of hers reminds me of the old days of butterflies, those sweet memories that left me uncertain with my life and suffer in pain, but now they’re coming back like they just left yesterday. Again, I broke the pen, the one that I’m using to rewrite my life. I don’t exactly know the next chapter, but I’m seeing it clearer now. And it’s good to feel this way again. :)

Jogging on a Wednesday night. It was awesome! But it’s abundance is paralleled with an ugly feeling of what seems to punch a hole in my chest, a very familiar, stressful pain, lingering in a very drastic manner. I didn’t notice it at first, but it slowly pulled the gravity, adding a couple of Newtons in the atmosphere. Good thing, the run was quite impulsive. It made me gain control, to fight this mental state. The supposedly ‘tears’ vanished in a couple of minutes. I got tired, it drained my body. But it also drained her absence and the anger flowing through me. I was cured. I felt better. I want to run more, run away from you a little farther, until we’re aloof. Let’s have a good night. :)

It has been a very tough month for us. The flowers of may seems to take away our pleasures, the seven-day tests that we must take for us to survive a clueless portal to the future. But while we insert the codes for the biggest project of the company so far, we also started having a glimpse of each other’s hidden oblivion.

(witten and described in a semi-particular order)

Ivan, a silent-type, multi-faceted and weird person, is the one with this serious malevolent look. Cool. A great medical programmer with the ability to nurse every procedure of the software. The Code Patcher.

Oren, the christian drummer of the group, 70% silent in serious mode, is a guy who likes to bring us the wellness of nature. Apples, pomelo, oranges and pears make him the great ‘Fruit Man’. The one whom I hear frequently the line “ECE ka pa niyan ha…!”. The Natural Debugger.

Sean, the body-builder, a symbol of strength and muscles, an 8-packed-abs person with a brilliant mind. His experiences in life made him built with hard-work and perseverance. H’es a semi-serious type, a basketball icon, the point-guard-forward-shooter, has this great personality that blends with the group. The Connection Builder.

JanJan, the silent-at-first developer, is regarded as the comedian-impersonator of various respected newscasters and other people. He is a loyal person to his beloved. His humor seems to get crazier through time and that’s why he’s ‘in’ with the group. The Persistent Merger.

Ranier, the cream of the crop, HUMBLE but a really outstanding programmer, the guy who doesn’t need a guide to do something internal or external with the computer. He is a fast learner and a fast driver too, integrated with his unique humor. The Immutable Microprocessor.

Joc, the cool, the straight and the rich kid, is the outside shooter with his humor and easy-to-get-with personality. packed with his role as the only son, he seems to be the only one whom I sought help when I first painted footprints on the floor of the company. The Cool Coder.

Adi, the great rockstar of the group, is the vocalist of the band SIADINA. The whatever-goes-next all-aound-programmer, Mr. Tool-Apps. He is the coolest, simple but rich musician of the group, who brings the best of every languages and notes of life. The Key Restorer.

Rommel, the brushed-up, genuine music lover, God-like, creative and a really great friend whose codes are imprinted in the way he looks at life. The firm, humorous and down-to-eartd human being who also excels in the group. His experiences made him a good adviser, in different aspects of life. The fast analyzer of algorithms and a great solution provider. The Mind Decryptor.

And finally, Issa, the hybrid Gwen Stefani - Tricia Gosingtian of the group, the only girl who also excels in the industry with her great and unmatched knowledge in the business side together with her creative and outstanding possesion of cooding skills. Her personality covers a wide and unique love for music and lyrics. It’s not just with her petite Koreana look, but with the real person inside her, the beauty within. The Artistic Developer.

Working longer hours and more days a week gives us this untimely pressure, stress and strain, sheared and longitudinal, taking us almost into our elastic limits. And though we still feel the pain of squeezing our brains for a milliliter of algorithms, we managed to survive. :)